[ Current Mood| good!]
[ Current Music| ]

My laptop works again. I have all my files back and I'm up and running again. What a job, I spent the last two days on it and I never want to have to do it again. Which I think I also said back in February. Here's to really never again!

I burned my hand while my sister and I made pizza and it hurts :(

I'm wearing my sister's pants and guess what? They actually fit me! Woohoo for losing weight. I think I forgot to mention my progress. I'm at 72.4 now and I started at 83 kilos in February! Nearly 11 kilos since February. It's a huge difference, though it doesn't strike me, other people notice. My parents and sister keep telling me how skinny I look and a friend I hadn't seen since May, noticed immediately which makes me feel incredible. It doesn't strike me, I think, because it went gradually for me, as to for my friend I kind of lost 7 or 8 kilos at once. I do notice it though with my pants, they're all way to big! Which is just an excuse to go shopping, although I still haven't done that! And also, it's just awesome that clothes I bought years ago, which were always a bit too small, fit now and some are even too big. It's wonderful.

Went to the library today, I got Crusade in Jeans because I want to know how the book is different from the movie. I read the book years ago, so I'm really curious. And I got this travel guide for Brussels because I'm going there for a weekend and I want to check out what there is to see and to do.

Gilmore Girls is coming to an end. I know they showed the last episode in the US in like May but we still have two more episodes left. It makes me sad to see it go. I love that show and I feel like I kind of grew up with Rory. I plan to buy the DVD's though, going to buy one season at a time! Can't wait to watch those really old episodes again!

And of course, it being August 8th, Happy Birthday JC! 31. Wow.

On a side not, I'm very happy to see Justin has hair again, or still. Whichever it is, Justin with hair makes me smile!

Oh! I finished my website. The make-over that is. So go and check it out!

This is the story I wrote for the sparklyglee challenge. I chose the following prompt.

*Pairing: JC/JT
*Physical location: Somewhere in the middle of nowhere!
*Any major plot points: Set a few years down the line, JC's still involved in the music biz, Justin's had some major crisis/breakdown/tragedy/whatever and lives in the middle of nowhere on his own. JC shows up and "fixes" things even though they've had no contact for some length of time.
*What's to squee about: Stubborn Determined JC! Broken Justin! Re-affirmation of friendship & the start of something more :-)

( Help Me Find My Way )

[ Current Mood| alright!]
[ Current Music| nice and quiet]

So, I wrote something two days ago, and I actually like it enough to share. Hope you enjoy it too :) No. I couldn't come up with a better title.

Thanks to withoutmaps for the beta and the tag recommendation *look* I started using it!

( Thief )

[ Current Mood| blah]
[ Current Music| silence, except for my humming laptop]

- My headache is damn persistent. Even after I got 12 hours of sleep, it still pops up. I'm going to the gym tomorrow, maybe that will cure it, because I can't keep living on pain killers.

- I did something weird to my ankle while I was asleep because when I woke up at 9ish I couldn't walk on it. When I woke up again at 1, it still hurt, though less.

- I've been watching Prison Break! Episode after episode and it's so fun to see all of them again. I bought the complete first season two weeks ago, and I just watched episode 9. I want to watch all the episodes again before they resume broadcasting on April 26th. I love Michael Scofield, he is mysterious and incredibly sexy.

- Speaking of Prison Break, I asked a couple of friends to come over on April 26th to watch the first new episode with me. I feel like I really made some new friends. After the whole clingy friend fiasco, I broadened my horizon and talked to new people in my class. And I've quickly made new friends. I was invited to a birthday party and now I have invited them over. It feels nice. I love being able to talk to more than one person. I don't like being dependent on just one. I don't like being dependent period. I'm just very content with the whole friend situation at the moment. I'm comfortable at school and I have fun, which was the whole point of this study.

- I just read on my dicraprio community that Kate Winslet and Leonardo Dicrapio are going to be working together again. I'm excited about that, and I'm not exactly sure why. Probably because Titanic was and still is one of my favorite movies and it's nostalgic. But also because I really like them both. I hope the movie is good, because I've watched the weirdest movies just to see my favorite actors (Johnny Depp and Leonardo Dicrapio). They can't just do a romantic comedy, they always have to do these shocking, thriller, psycho movies. Oh well, we'll see, it'll be a while before it gets released.

- I just went through my friendslist and I saw a lot of recognizable things, I'm glad I'm not the only one!

- I have written something this week, I've actually gotten excited about it again which I haven't been basically since I started American Studies. I just could not find the time. I tried this week.

- And next week is vacation and I'm going home for the week. \o/ The best thing about it is that the monday after vacation will be off too because it's Easter and because I don't have classes on Tuesday and Wednesday, I basically have a week and a half of vacation! Even though there are essays due the week after vacation, I'm gonna make sure I don't spend my whole week doing homework.

- I'm a bit long-winded lately, sorry about that.

[ Current Mood| very excited]
[ Current Music| Give It To Me (I love this song!)]

Happy JuC Day everybody!

Everytime I refresh my friendslist something new pops up. This is even better than xmas. At first I didn't plan on contributing but I decided I have to. I cannot just let it pass, so I have 2 stories to share with you and I'm going to try to give feedback to as many people as I can.

( At Last )

( Right In Front of You )

Enjoy the rest of the JuC Day!

[ Current Mood| whiny]
[ Current Music| Justin - Rock Your Body]

I'm getting ready to go home to Eindhoven this weekend and I hate packing. Why do I always feel like I'm forgetting stuff? I checked a million times, it's not gonna run off or disappear! I got everything. Sometimes I drive myself absolutely crazy!

I also don't feel well, haven't really felt well all week. It has been raining almost all week. Maybe that's depressing me. I skipped my English class yesterday and I'm actually proud. I didn't miss one class last semester even though I didn't feel well, obsessive much? I'm just afraid I'll miss out on something important! But yesterday I decided just not to go. If everyone else can do it, so can I! I'm actually proud of myself I let it go!

I have one class in about an hour and then I'll go straight to the train station. I'm not looking forward to 3 hours of travelling, but I'll entertain myself. And I hate driving my bike to the train station. They just built a whole new storage accommodation at the train station and it's just always full! Always! It's ridiculous!

I'm watching top 11 at 11 on mtv. All Justin songs! \o/ Though why they keep putting Rock Your Body on number 1, I don't get. I like the song, but it's old. Put Sexyback on number 1! I guess they still don't have enough Justin songs to fill it, Nsync popped up again *grins*

[ Current Mood| ecstatic]
[ Current Music| What Goes Around]

Yesterday was the first day of the second semester and it was time to face the music, living in oblivion was over. I went to check my grades.

And... I passed all three of my finals! I received 7.8 on my history final, 8 on Culture Arts and Media, and 8 on American Society!!

I was and still am on cloud 9. I mean I can't believe it. I worried and wished. I hoped for at least a 5 on history that would have been enough, but 7.8? Did not see that one coming! Only a quarter of the people who took the history final passed and there was only one person who received a better grade than I did. I am so happy!

Why did I worry about this again?

When I start to doubt myself again, please remind me of this! I can do this! I can pull this off :D That's 30 credits I just earned, only 30 more to go! \o/

Tomorrow I can check what I did right and wrong on my history final. I want to go, I want to know, does that make me a dork? Perhaps, but I still want to go and check it out :D

So yesterday was fun, I'm ready to for the new semester and new knowledge :D One was a literature class, another was modern American history. I'm curious about the literature class because I really hated Dutch literature in highschool. I am however 4 years older now, and decided to just be open to it. I figure that will help. I still cannot get over the fact that we're going to have to read the Scarlett Letter, withoutmaps! The history class, we'll pick up where we left off in 1865 and continue to 2001. Basically the other half of my history book. But I've been told early American history is more difficult just because it's harder to relate, we shall see. I'm excited though!

My clingy friend is no longer clingy. Or not as much anyway. We talked, she was nice to me, just normal, but we didn't sit next to each other in every class or paired up for a new assignment. It was exactly how I wanted it, because I enjoy talking to her, I just need my space. And she got the message, perfect!

I'm back on my own laptop again! The hard drive crashed and they put in a new one. I saved quite a lot of my files, not everything but something at least. I'm just so glad it decided to crash after finals. My laptop is smart!

I have to re-install everything though! I've been fighting with my laptop for more than an hour and have just managed to get my internet connection to work again. Now it's onto the rest.

It better not crash ever, ever again!

[ Current Mood| alright I guess]
[ Current Music| nothing]

I liked this article!

( Cover Story: Sexy Beast )

In other words, I'm at home right now. And not feeling too great. The stress of the past month is rearing its ugly head and making me sick, literally. I guess I didn't allow it to surface, but as I'm slowly trying to wind down, it ceases its opportunity and I'm going with it.

I slept in this morning, or tried to. I watched Model Behavior which is always entertaining and other wise did nothing.

[ Current Mood| happy]
[ Current Music| Tyra show]

It's clouded and it's raining. It looks depressing outside, but luckily I feel happy so it doesn't affect me!

My sister and I went to IKEA and got a bunch of stuff. Things we needed, things we didn't need. It was fun, it's within walking distance which is very helpful since I bought a picture frame 100x70 cm and I would have crashed if I'd taken it home driving my bike. Walking is safer, though the wind wasn't helping much. We also bought a cute stuffed animal, it's a puppy and so soft. It's childish but oh so sweet. We named it puppy, very original, but he's so cuddly and soft.

Now it's time to finally decorate my room. I've had bare walls from August to November. I finally put up my American flag at the end of November and I put up a large map of the US that I got from my grandpa in December. But I got an awesome NYC poster for my birthday and I still want to make a Sexyback Club Tour collage and America trip collage. I need to make it more me. The flag and map help but I need pictures and Justin still. Now is as good a time as any!

I'm going to take my friend out to dinner tonight and maybe a movie if we feel like it.

And last but not least; Happy birthday to Justin! The flags are out, it can be for Justin! Except that it's not, it's our Queen's birthday today as well.



( one picture for every year... )

Any excuse for a Justin picture!

[ Current Mood| READY to take the plunge]
[ Current Music| America's Next Top Model]

I studied my ass off. If this isn't enough to pass the test, I don't know what is. I don't think I have ever, ever studied as long for a final. Not even for highschool exams. I have studied 13 days, basically 7 to 8 hours a day. I wonder if I overdid it? And still I worry about not knowing everything, although that's not a realistic goal. Damn near impossible.

Oh well, I'll try to have faith in myself, and try to trust my brain to have absorbed all of it. Or at least most of it. And the important stuff. I'll quickly look through the outline schedule I made and then that's it. It has to be enough.

And tomorrow at 4, don't ask me about dates, names, places or events. Or even mention the word history. At least not for 3 whole weeks. Because then school will start up again, and we'll continue where we left off *whimpers*

On to something fun: my dreams. I have been having a lot of them lately and for some reason Justin keeps popping up. Very nice! Two nights ago, I dreamt about being in a store where they sold FutureSex/LoveSounds merchandise. Clothes mostly and I was so happy, wanting to buy it all. If that isn't enough, as I walk around the store, out walks Justin from one of the dressing rooms. He's dressed in the most casual clothes (is my mind rebelling against the suit obsession? not possible!!) baggy jeans, red vest, hoody. Just awesome and deliciously wonderful. He has a few guys with him, the only one I remember is Marty. He stands in front of the mirror and shakes his head, saying "I don't know" about the clothes. And I stand there and gape at him. Wanting to say it looks freaking hot, but before I can the dream changes, or I might have had a conscious in my dream. Either way, the picture of him in the most casual clothes and him not being sure about the outfit or how it looks keeps lingering in my head. It's a wonderful image. So sexy, so good.

He can visit me again tonight, in those clothes, will get me all relaxed for tomorrow!

[ Current Mood| relieved]
[ Current Music| wind and rain]

American Society is done. My first final is behind me. And I'm relieved.

I can't really say it went very well but it wasn't very bad either. It just went ok, I guess. It's hard to say since the questions were pretty general. Essay type of questions. I put as much information in my answer as possible, and now I'm hoping for the best.

Already received my first credit points for English!

Now I'm moving on to the next subject: history. Repeating everything I've learned so far. It's hard motivating myself to start on the next final. I just finished one, give me a break!

But Prison Break is on tonight :D

It's storming today. It rained so hard we couldn't see anything! It was like a blur. And I heard it snowed in California? Oh boy!

[ Current Mood| little nervous]
[ Current Music| cars rushing by]

My first final is tomorrow. From 2 to 5. I'm a little nervous, or starting to get nervous. I will try to relax. Am trying, but maybe I shouldn't try so hard because that will make me nervous again.

Oh I should stop. It's really not that bad yet. I repeated everything yesterday and today. Now I need to rest, I can sleep in tomorrow which is very nice, and chill. I think I'll pull out The Reel Nsync, haven't watched that in a while. And Gilmore Girls is on tonight!

Yesterday I went to pick up my essay, 7.5! I was very happy, she had all these positive things scribbled in the margins, which made me very happy. I saw this essay that had plagiarism written on it. :O I can't believe people still try that!

I had a JuC/Justin dream. It started out JuC playing basketball with the blue and white shirts of Challenge on. It was all cute and I remember thinking I have never seen this before I need to have a copy of this! And then it changed and Justin had no hair like in his movie Black Snake Moan. Then there was a gun, against his head and he was all pouty and scared, like in Edison. And then my dream stopped. Very strange, it wasn't scary though.

Going to watch Gilmore Girls now, and collect my thoughts.

[ Current Mood| busy]
[ Current Music| my sister's music]

My first post of the year and I've only done one thing, namely studying.

I started on Monday with history. I anticipated it to be bad, but I was wrong, it's worse. So many dates, names, and events. I try to memorize the most important ones, but it takes so damn long. Remember my plan? Yeah, it didn't work. I'd planned to go through 3 chapters a day. I only managed a chapter and a half. Major stress ensued. And there went my new year's resolution of less worrying. I went through 5 chapters in 3 days, while I'd planned 9 chapters in 3 days.

I had my mental breakdown on Wednesday. Once I pulled myself together again, I decided to started on my other subject, hoping that would go quicker and luckily it did. Quicker than anticipated, so it balanced out. Stress is under control again. I just really don't feel like getting started again tomorrow. Today was my day off. Tomorrow it's back to the history.

Went to a friend on Thursday for a few hours. I hadn't seen her since August, it was so nice to see her again and it felt right again immediately. That's friendship to me. I had a lovely time. She's getting married in September, and I'm so happy for her. I'm no where near taking that step, I don't even have a boyfriend, but she was so happy and it was so cute really.

Only one more day to the kick-off of Justin's tour!! I have to wait until June, but I can't wait to hear the stories and see the pictures! And 5 more days to Alpha Dog premiere. I hope I'll be able to download it soon. I have no clue when it reaches theaters here and I don't think I can wait any longer. Not fair I even have to wait any longer.

I just saw Justin's mom is 45. :0 I knew she was young, but that is young! Though it's too old to act your son's age.

I don't think I have anything else to say, except that I love What Goes Around, and can't wait for the video!

[ Current Mood| cheerful]
[ Current Music| Cry Baby]

The end of 2006 is near. Only eight and a half hours left, where I'm sitting, or well when I started. It's only five hours away now.

Last year, I posted a recap of 2005 and a prospect of 2006. It's fun to look back now and to read what I expected of this year. And to realize it all happened. I graduated from teacher's college, which still feels surreal sometimes. I turned 21, I moved to Groningen and threw myself into a new study. I expected changes, and changes I got.

I will remember 2006 mostly for all these changes. Graduating, moving out out of my parents' house, moving to a new city, having my own apartment (with my sister), being responsible for all house-related things, and starting a new study. It was definitely an eventful year.

Something else I will never, ever forget is July 8th, when I went to see Justin's Sexyback Club Tour with dancingmerel. It was without a doubt the most awesome, incredible and amazing concert I have ever been to. I mean he was *..* this close!

June 26th, my day of graduation. I was so nervous when I had to do my final presentation, but it went so well. And I remember going home and I just had the biggest smile on my face. Looking around, wondering if it showed that I'd just graduated.

After browsing through my livejournal, I found out this about ( what happened in my world in 2006 )

( What will 2007 hold in store for me? )

I wish everyone on my friendslist a very Happy & Healthy 2007!!



Worry Less, Enjoy More, Cheers!

I created a poll, I didn't know I could do that, I couldn't before. I'm just really curious how people see The Netherlands, if they even know it's a country that exists, and what the images are that pop up once you hear the name. The Netherlands has been mentioned in several tv shows, but they always portrayed it as weird, foreign. So I'm wondering what my friendslist thinks. So please, fill it out here. Thank you!

So that was another Christmas. To me, it feels less special every year. I can't exactly explain why, it's just not that big of a deal I think. It probably has to do with the fact that expectations and happy feelings are built up in the weeks before Christmas, that it can do not much more than disappoint once those two days finally arrive. I mean, the happy scenes of opening presents and eating with the family in movies are obviously fake, they pretend it's special. And I enjoyed eating with my parents and sister, but we do, or did, that every day. It's not more special at Christmas time. I like having a Christmas tree in the house and watch Christmas movies, but that's as far as it goes. *shrug* Maybe I'm weird.

I just scrolled through my friendslist to see SeSa all over it. I hope everyone got a fun story and received feedback. I quickly went through the JuC department, will need to send feedback later. Must not forget. But I guess it was another successful SeSa year with lots of new stories to read, \o/

My official week off started on Monday, we went to our grandparents, which was nice. I planned all my school work and will start studying on January the first, how wonderful to start the New Year lol, but until then I'm going to do nothing.

I'm reading The Way You Know Him, I still have not finished the series! I reached October though, so almost there. It's the ultimate feeling of vacation; staying in bed late and reading!

Have been very productive as well though, because I can't sit still during my vacation, I just can't. I need new projects and so I made a Justin DVD yesterday. I used the Nero program which is just awesome! Now I got all the Justin appearances on a DVD. And I even figured out a way how to rip a program that I recorded from the DVD. I recorded a Justin interview on our music channel, that I want to share with you later this week! It's a few months old, but it's Justin, so who cares ;)

I was watching this show last night, and someone said I don't drink. The others looked almost shocked and just began to make fun of that person. I was so annoyed. Why is it so weird when you say you don't drink? Does that mean there's something wrong with you? Are you less fun than someone who gets drunk once a week? Are you not apart of the club when you don't drink? What the hell is wrong with people?? I was applauding the woman who said she didn't drink, she said, I just don't like it. Well good for her, I don't like liquor either, why in the world would I drink it? Because stupid people will make fun of me? Because they will try to get me to drink something anyway even if I said no?? Because they will look at me as if I'm from another planet? *shakes head* It's so ridiculous and it makes me so incredibly angry! Because you're obviously so cool when you puke your guts out, my bad.

[ Current Mood| curious]
[ Current Music| Lord of the Rings movie, boring!]

Poll #895925 What is the image you have of The Netherlands?
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 3

What is the image you have of The Netherlands?

I've started to type sentences and deleted them 3 times already. Words won't come to me, it's incredibly annoying.

I'm home. I made a study plan, it's full but doable, though I'm not really looking forward to it.

I saw the trailer for Black Snake Moan, not at all sure what I should think about that movie. I mean she is chained? In some dude's house? And where does Justin come in to all this? Weird.

I liked SNL, but not as much as last time. I really liked the Homelessville skit, the Hip Hop kids skit, and the elf auditions. Always fun when he can't hold in his laughter, cute. I liked his woman version in the elf audition skit, too funny. And I loved What Goes Around. I didn't like the Barry Gibb show, but the rest was okay. I think he's gotten better.

I still feel restless, I'm bored easily, I don't feel like doing anything. I want to write though, but I have zip inspiration, which kind of makes things difficult.

It's almost Christmas, which means there's gonna be lots of stuff on tv!

Mom and dad bought a Christmas tree, it's still bare though. I might do something about that later.

And last, but not least, Prison Break will be on in an hour! I'm totally hooked. I already was, but it's gotten worse. It's such an awesome show!

I went to the gym today. Took a body balance class, and it feels good. Little sore, but good. I never really feel like going, especially today because I had to get up early, but it always makes me feel good afterwards. Because I did something that's good for me. It would be easier though, if I would just enjoy it. Does anyone enjoy going to the gym?

I'm downloading Justin on SNL, I'm so curious what he's done this time. I saw he performed What Goes Around, I absolutely love that song! Live is even better!

Going to watch the X-files in a bit, for school, and try to start on making a plan to study for finals.

I had my last class yesterday. \o/ Time for my winter break now, and my first classes will be on February 12th. Conveniently forgetting my finals of course.

I do not want to think of my finals just yet. I have 3, January 17th, 23rd, and 29th. At least a month away, but these are gonna be my first university finals and I'm nervous. I don't know what to expect, I don't exactly know how to study. I'm gonna start early, because I can't study like I did in highschool; the day before the test. I haven't really had any finals like this in teacher's college. We had projects, and a few finals where we had to memorize the material and answer questions. But this is something else.

The class I'm most worried about is Early American History, 500 pages of names, dates, and events I will have to memorize. I have no idea how to go about it, the professor has given us an idea how to study, but I just don't know. Do I have enough brain cells for this? I've read somewhere the number of braincells decreases after your 18th birthday. :O

Culture, Arts and Media, I'm not too worried about. I've got 80% average right now, so I need 40% to pass the class. I guess that should be doable.

Finally, American Society, little worried about this. I handed in an essay for this class but I don't know my grade yet. Plus, there's quite a number of chapters to go through.

I just need a plan, I know I do, a plan, structure calms me. I have thought of how I'm going to plan the studying for these three classes but I don't have a clue. I'll try not to worry too much and just sit down and figure it out tomorrow. I hope I'll figure it out, because I'm not gonna spend my whole break studying. I just refuse. I need 2.. okay 1 week at least to just do nothing.

I haven't planned anything for my winter break, do nothing I suppose, and study. And of course being home. We're going home on Tuesday, which I'm very excited about. :D

I slept in till 1.30! Go me! It was wonderful.

Oh, and Justin is on SNL tonight, right? So cool!

I've got more time this week to do fun stuff, because I have no more deadlines for school. But of course, the one time I finally have a little time, nothing works with me. What I do bores me, and what I want to do, I suck at. It's not helping my happy mood.

Tomorrow is Sinterklaas, a holiday for children basically, and it was a lot more fun last year with kids. It has kind of passed me by this year, which is a shame I guess. They were putting up the Christmas tree in the center of town though. It looked so pretty! My first Christmas in Groningen.

Something really horrific happened last Friday. A child was murdered in an elementary school! An eight year old boy was killed in his classroom while the rest of his class was in the auditorium. A 22-year-old man slit his throat. A child! In school! It's unknown why it happened, but it's just horrible. Unbelievable. What the hell is wrong with this world?!