[ Current Mood| good!]
[ Current Music| ]

My laptop works again. I have all my files back and I'm up and running again. What a job, I spent the last two days on it and I never want to have to do it again. Which I think I also said back in February. Here's to really never again!

I burned my hand while my sister and I made pizza and it hurts :(

I'm wearing my sister's pants and guess what? They actually fit me! Woohoo for losing weight. I think I forgot to mention my progress. I'm at 72.4 now and I started at 83 kilos in February! Nearly 11 kilos since February. It's a huge difference, though it doesn't strike me, other people notice. My parents and sister keep telling me how skinny I look and a friend I hadn't seen since May, noticed immediately which makes me feel incredible. It doesn't strike me, I think, because it went gradually for me, as to for my friend I kind of lost 7 or 8 kilos at once. I do notice it though with my pants, they're all way to big! Which is just an excuse to go shopping, although I still haven't done that! And also, it's just awesome that clothes I bought years ago, which were always a bit too small, fit now and some are even too big. It's wonderful.

Went to the library today, I got Crusade in Jeans because I want to know how the book is different from the movie. I read the book years ago, so I'm really curious. And I got this travel guide for Brussels because I'm going there for a weekend and I want to check out what there is to see and to do.

Gilmore Girls is coming to an end. I know they showed the last episode in the US in like May but we still have two more episodes left. It makes me sad to see it go. I love that show and I feel like I kind of grew up with Rory. I plan to buy the DVD's though, going to buy one season at a time! Can't wait to watch those really old episodes again!

And of course, it being August 8th, Happy Birthday JC! 31. Wow.

On a side not, I'm very happy to see Justin has hair again, or still. Whichever it is, Justin with hair makes me smile!

Oh! I finished my website. The make-over that is. So go and check it out!

This is the story I wrote for the sparklyglee challenge. I chose the following prompt.

*Pairing: JC/JT
*Physical location: Somewhere in the middle of nowhere!
*Any major plot points: Set a few years down the line, JC's still involved in the music biz, Justin's had some major crisis/breakdown/tragedy/whatever and lives in the middle of nowhere on his own. JC shows up and "fixes" things even though they've had no contact for some length of time.
*What's to squee about: Stubborn Determined JC! Broken Justin! Re-affirmation of friendship & the start of something more :-)

( Help Me Find My Way )

[ Current Mood| alright!]
[ Current Music| nice and quiet]

So, I wrote something two days ago, and I actually like it enough to share. Hope you enjoy it too :) No. I couldn't come up with a better title.

Thanks to withoutmaps for the beta and the tag recommendation *look* I started using it!

( Thief )

[ Current Mood| blah]
[ Current Music| silence, except for my humming laptop]

- My headache is damn persistent. Even after I got 12 hours of sleep, it still pops up. I'm going to the gym tomorrow, maybe that will cure it, because I can't keep living on pain killers.

- I did something weird to my ankle while I was asleep because when I woke up at 9ish I couldn't walk on it. When I woke up again at 1, it still hurt, though less.

- I've been watching Prison Break! Episode after episode and it's so fun to see all of them again. I bought the complete first season two weeks ago, and I just watched episode 9. I want to watch all the episodes again before they resume broadcasting on April 26th. I love Michael Scofield, he is mysterious and incredibly sexy.

- Speaking of Prison Break, I asked a couple of friends to come over on April 26th to watch the first new episode with me. I feel like I really made some new friends. After the whole clingy friend fiasco, I broadened my horizon and talked to new people in my class. And I've quickly made new friends. I was invited to a birthday party and now I have invited them over. It feels nice. I love being able to talk to more than one person. I don't like being dependent on just one. I don't like being dependent period. I'm just very content with the whole friend situation at the moment. I'm comfortable at school and I have fun, which was the whole point of this study.

- I just read on my dicraprio community that Kate Winslet and Leonardo Dicrapio are going to be working together again. I'm excited about that, and I'm not exactly sure why. Probably because Titanic was and still is one of my favorite movies and it's nostalgic. But also because I really like them both. I hope the movie is good, because I've watched the weirdest movies just to see my favorite actors (Johnny Depp and Leonardo Dicrapio). They can't just do a romantic comedy, they always have to do these shocking, thriller, psycho movies. Oh well, we'll see, it'll be a while before it gets released.

- I just went through my friendslist and I saw a lot of recognizable things, I'm glad I'm not the only one!

- I have written something this week, I've actually gotten excited about it again which I haven't been basically since I started American Studies. I just could not find the time. I tried this week.

- And next week is vacation and I'm going home for the week. \o/ The best thing about it is that the monday after vacation will be off too because it's Easter and because I don't have classes on Tuesday and Wednesday, I basically have a week and a half of vacation! Even though there are essays due the week after vacation, I'm gonna make sure I don't spend my whole week doing homework.

- I'm a bit long-winded lately, sorry about that.

[ Current Mood| very excited]
[ Current Music| Give It To Me (I love this song!)]

Happy JuC Day everybody!

Everytime I refresh my friendslist something new pops up. This is even better than xmas. At first I didn't plan on contributing but I decided I have to. I cannot just let it pass, so I have 2 stories to share with you and I'm going to try to give feedback to as many people as I can.

( At Last )

( Right In Front of You )

Enjoy the rest of the JuC Day!

[ Current Mood| whiny]
[ Current Music| Justin - Rock Your Body]

I'm getting ready to go home to Eindhoven this weekend and I hate packing. Why do I always feel like I'm forgetting stuff? I checked a million times, it's not gonna run off or disappear! I got everything. Sometimes I drive myself absolutely crazy!

I also don't feel well, haven't really felt well all week. It has been raining almost all week. Maybe that's depressing me. I skipped my English class yesterday and I'm actually proud. I didn't miss one class last semester even though I didn't feel well, obsessive much? I'm just afraid I'll miss out on something important! But yesterday I decided just not to go. If everyone else can do it, so can I! I'm actually proud of myself I let it go!

I have one class in about an hour and then I'll go straight to the train station. I'm not looking forward to 3 hours of travelling, but I'll entertain myself. And I hate driving my bike to the train station. They just built a whole new storage accommodation at the train station and it's just always full! Always! It's ridiculous!

I'm watching top 11 at 11 on mtv. All Justin songs! \o/ Though why they keep putting Rock Your Body on number 1, I don't get. I like the song, but it's old. Put Sexyback on number 1! I guess they still don't have enough Justin songs to fill it, Nsync popped up again *grins*

[ Current Mood| ecstatic]
[ Current Music| What Goes Around]

Yesterday was the first day of the second semester and it was time to face the music, living in oblivion was over. I went to check my grades.

And... I passed all three of my finals! I received 7.8 on my history final, 8 on Culture Arts and Media, and 8 on American Society!!

I was and still am on cloud 9. I mean I can't believe it. I worried and wished. I hoped for at least a 5 on history that would have been enough, but 7.8? Did not see that one coming! Only a quarter of the people who took the history final passed and there was only one person who received a better grade than I did. I am so happy!

Why did I worry about this again?

When I start to doubt myself again, please remind me of this! I can do this! I can pull this off :D That's 30 credits I just earned, only 30 more to go! \o/

Tomorrow I can check what I did right and wrong on my history final. I want to go, I want to know, does that make me a dork? Perhaps, but I still want to go and check it out :D

So yesterday was fun, I'm ready to for the new semester and new knowledge :D One was a literature class, another was modern American history. I'm curious about the literature class because I really hated Dutch literature in highschool. I am however 4 years older now, and decided to just be open to it. I figure that will help. I still cannot get over the fact that we're going to have to read the Scarlett Letter, withoutmaps! The history class, we'll pick up where we left off in 1865 and continue to 2001. Basically the other half of my history book. But I've been told early American history is more difficult just because it's harder to relate, we shall see. I'm excited though!

My clingy friend is no longer clingy. Or not as much anyway. We talked, she was nice to me, just normal, but we didn't sit next to each other in every class or paired up for a new assignment. It was exactly how I wanted it, because I enjoy talking to her, I just need my space. And she got the message, perfect!

I'm back on my own laptop again! The hard drive crashed and they put in a new one. I saved quite a lot of my files, not everything but something at least. I'm just so glad it decided to crash after finals. My laptop is smart!

I have to re-install everything though! I've been fighting with my laptop for more than an hour and have just managed to get my internet connection to work again. Now it's onto the rest.

It better not crash ever, ever again!

[ Current Mood| alright I guess]
[ Current Music| nothing]

I liked this article!

( Cover Story: Sexy Beast )

In other words, I'm at home right now. And not feeling too great. The stress of the past month is rearing its ugly head and making me sick, literally. I guess I didn't allow it to surface, but as I'm slowly trying to wind down, it ceases its opportunity and I'm going with it.

I slept in this morning, or tried to. I watched Model Behavior which is always entertaining and other wise did nothing.

[ Current Mood| happy]
[ Current Music| Tyra show]

It's clouded and it's raining. It looks depressing outside, but luckily I feel happy so it doesn't affect me!

My sister and I went to IKEA and got a bunch of stuff. Things we needed, things we didn't need. It was fun, it's within walking distance which is very helpful since I bought a picture frame 100x70 cm and I would have crashed if I'd taken it home driving my bike. Walking is safer, though the wind wasn't helping much. We also bought a cute stuffed animal, it's a puppy and so soft. It's childish but oh so sweet. We named it puppy, very original, but he's so cuddly and soft.

Now it's time to finally decorate my room. I've had bare walls from August to November. I finally put up my American flag at the end of November and I put up a large map of the US that I got from my grandpa in December. But I got an awesome NYC poster for my birthday and I still want to make a Sexyback Club Tour collage and America trip collage. I need to make it more me. The flag and map help but I need pictures and Justin still. Now is as good a time as any!

I'm going to take my friend out to dinner tonight and maybe a movie if we feel like it.

And last but not least; Happy birthday to Justin! The flags are out, it can be for Justin! Except that it's not, it's our Queen's birthday today as well.



( one picture for every year... )

Any excuse for a Justin picture!

[ Current Mood| READY to take the plunge]
[ Current Music| America's Next Top Model]

I studied my ass off. If this isn't enough to pass the test, I don't know what is. I don't think I have ever, ever studied as long for a final. Not even for highschool exams. I have studied 13 days, basically 7 to 8 hours a day. I wonder if I overdid it? And still I worry about not knowing everything, although that's not a realistic goal. Damn near impossible.

Oh well, I'll try to have faith in myself, and try to trust my brain to have absorbed all of it. Or at least most of it. And the important stuff. I'll quickly look through the outline schedule I made and then that's it. It has to be enough.

And tomorrow at 4, don't ask me about dates, names, places or events. Or even mention the word history. At least not for 3 whole weeks. Because then school will start up again, and we'll continue where we left off *whimpers*

On to something fun: my dreams. I have been having a lot of them lately and for some reason Justin keeps popping up. Very nice! Two nights ago, I dreamt about being in a store where they sold FutureSex/LoveSounds merchandise. Clothes mostly and I was so happy, wanting to buy it all. If that isn't enough, as I walk around the store, out walks Justin from one of the dressing rooms. He's dressed in the most casual clothes (is my mind rebelling against the suit obsession? not possible!!) baggy jeans, red vest, hoody. Just awesome and deliciously wonderful. He has a few guys with him, the only one I remember is Marty. He stands in front of the mirror and shakes his head, saying "I don't know" about the clothes. And I stand there and gape at him. Wanting to say it looks freaking hot, but before I can the dream changes, or I might have had a conscious in my dream. Either way, the picture of him in the most casual clothes and him not being sure about the outfit or how it looks keeps lingering in my head. It's a wonderful image. So sexy, so good.

He can visit me again tonight, in those clothes, will get me all relaxed for tomorrow!